This notice appeared on the theatre doors...

the following morning.

Last fragment

During the play i leaned over once to look at Mr Aliev and he seemed to be watching with every bit of attention. Throughout the play the military heads sitting in the row behind me were discussing the factual truth of the play, admitting that that's how it happened 'back then'. Amusingly they got very excited they heard the sound of the helicopter. 'The chopper', one of them yelled out, almost like a kid. At the last beat of music Mr Aliev, his entourage and 'siloviki'-MVD, FSB men rose and without applauding, left the theatre. All the time as i was taking bows on stage, along with the cast members and the director, i kept thinking 'this is not good, unless it's just a security measure, for him, the president, to leave before everyone else, but...no, this is not good.'

I stood outside the theatre with Dmitry when the president passed right by me on his way to the car. He did it ina very demonstrative way.

After i did a few more interviews in Skanderbek's office, he showed up looking pale. It took me a few monutes to get out of him what happened. 'The president is very angry. The play is no more. You are not to know about this. I am to tell you tomorrow that the main actress got sick.'

We sat with a couple of very nice people, unaware of the reality of the situation, at the banquet table mostly empty for the lack of our high ranked guests, trying to pretend all is well. It was a pitiful and painful sight. It was a shocking and painful situation. It was shocking and painful, period.

18 hours later...

...you don't.

The banner on the theatre with the name of the play....

Here you see it.

Further in fragments...

By the time i arrived at the theatre, president's guards were already there. Since the whole thing was very unexpected, it was all very chaotic and many major things were overlooked. It was one of the actors playing terrorists who had a good sense to tell the guards that they'll be running up on stage with machine guns. 'Good thing you told us', they said, 'we would have shot you all if you hadn't'. They searched the theatre and checked the prop guns few hours before the performance. There was much discussion about where they can be positioned during th play, as not to be in the way of our actors moving around the auditorium.

Passing through the theatre foyer i saw groups of bulky self-assured men, mostly in suits. In fact only one of these generals wore his uniform. I was told to wait for the president's arrival and not go into the auditorium as i will be introduced to him. Finally i saw him coming up the stairs, his entourage few steps behind him. He shook my hand. I said 'Glad you could come' (what else do you say?), and he responded with 'i'm very interested'.

In fragments

The play based on the Moscow theatre siege has been in rehearsals for over 4 months, during which time director Skanderbek Tulparov has gone public with his plans, and has appeared on local TV and radio shows talking in detail about the project. After a while i've stopped asking him if any of the so called officials have made any advances. They haven't, and i shamed myself for being so behind and not giving enough credit to the immense progress in Russian. I began to think of ways to make this into an anti-terrorist act of some kind, inviting as many of my Nord Ost guys to Makhachkala and some of the Beslan mothers as well as some of the officials and human rights orgs people, to have a 'round table' talks. In fact this was initially suggested by Skanderbek's friend, one of the ministers in Dagestan. For the lack of cash we couldn't do it, and all we could afford is to invite one of the reps of Nord Ost organisation, Dmitry Milovidov, who lost his daughter in the siege.

On the day of the premiere we were suddenly told that president Aliev will be coming to the performance.

Russia, Dagestan, 08

What happened to me and my play in the last few weeks in Russia is shocking. Will write up everything very soon. Getting my thoughts together and deciding on the legal actions. I am very disappointed and tired but not broken.