Another note on the play...

The really sad thing is that those government officials who were watching my play in Dagestan were not moved, and in all likelihood irratated, by the tribut to all those who died in terror attacks, when all our actors stood, with their heads bowed, in front of column of candles going all the way into the sky. And how on the metal shield which made for the backdrop, at the end of the play the last notes of the dying people appeared that said "remember us", "mama, i love you" and others. And when the actors came out to take a bow they picked up from the floor and put on the chairs empty bottles of water and juice cartons as a tribute to Beslan children, who were deprived of water for 3 days, as well as Nord Ost victims.

The fact that they ignored those things is tragic. For them. The robots.

Please Help.

I came across this site about children with cancer in Ukraine and the terrible struggle that they go through in the country where medical system is appalling and people are poor. A lot of those kids suffer very much and die because their families having sold everything simply don't have money to continue with treatment. Loans are not available for families like these.

Please forward this site to as many people as possible.

www.deti.zp.ua

Thank you!

Well done Hillary! A gracious speech of a strong, amazing woman who would have made a great president.

The Kleptocrats

There was a short piece in New York Post today about Bolat Nazarbayev, the brother of the president of Kazakhstan Nursultan Nazarbayev, bought a pad in NYC for 20 million US dollars. The headline was 'Kleptocrat pad'. Couldn't put it any better if you tried.

In a society where people don't care about what they allow their government to do, how they allow their government to deal with situations such as Nord Ost and Beslan, is doomed. As long as it is someone else's family who lose their child because the government messes up the rescue efforts, and then puts a price tag on that child's life- $3000 in Nord Ost, a little more in Beslan-people go about their business in numb silence. This denial mixed with fear is the most dangerous symptom of Russian society.

What was that, Mr Aliev?

As i decide on what steps to take with regards to the situation surrounding my play in Russia, as the officials are not allowing it to go up again, this is an overview of the statements made by the president of Dagestan Mr. Aliev between 11am and 5pm Monday the 7th of April 2008.

1. He disliked the play but did not ban it. He sees objective look at the North Caucusus war as inclination towards wahhabism.

2. 'Those behind the play suggest that all of us are to blame for what happened in Nord ost and Beslan. We are all to blame? I am to blame? what am i to be blamed for may i ask?'

3. 'They should try to stage this play in Beslan. I will ant to see what will happen to them there.' (Beslan mothers reacted immediately and said that they very much welcomed the play)

4. 'The play is the provocation by the enemies of Russia. Did you notice that it was first staged in London? And shall i remind you where Mr. Berezovsky is hiding? This play is aimed at the destabilisation of our region.'

PUTIN-We did everything right.

Today PM Vladimir Putin in his interview with French journalists has stated that 'everything was done right' by the government officials during the events of the Moscow theatre siege and the Beslan school siege. Thus not just refusing to admit to a single mistake made durind, say, the rescue operation, but pretty much saying he will never accept responsibility for the things that went wrong and led to so many deaths. This is also an indication to the relatives of the Nord Ost and Beslan victims and former hostages, now formed into non-government organisations Nord Ost and Voice of Beslan that their efforts are in vain. That they will never get what they are fighting for. The truth. The admittance of guilt. At least. So no wonder that people like myself who stir things up regarding this much hated topics are seen and pronounced an enemy. Thus President of Dagestan's statement regarding my play being a plot of 'our countries enemies who live abroad aimed at destabilising our region'. That was a quote.

As i am working on my second draft of the screenplay about Anna Politkovskaya and Nord Ost, i am forced to make a number of difficult decisions. How many of the controversial topics to bring up, while making it comprehensible and not slipping into conspiracy theory zone (which i hate). And how to make the 'formula'-good guy/bad guy-work without slipping into stereotypes (which i hate even more). Time will show...

The tragic thing is that at the moment after a few victorious games in sport, after the win on Eurovision song contest Russia is very seriously talking about all this being a sign of Russia's resurrection. It's very sad that people, so easily manipulated and hypnotised into believing all this, go around saying 'we are the greatest', based on a couple of accidental victories in sports and the Eurovision contest, which in civilised Euopean countries is widely known to be a joke. These are the standards Russia applies to measure its own greatness, quickly slipping into hysteria. All this while for years it hasn't exported a single car, washing machine or a pair of jeans; elderly, soldiers, teachers and doctors make pennies and freedom of speech and expression are being suffocated. You are delusional, Russia. This is a very slippery slope.

Here it is, burning after the explosion. The fire is on my 12th floor.

Explosion

Even though my grandparents have been able to move back into our apartment after the apartment opposite ours was blown up on the night of the premiere of my play in Dagestan ( in fact 1 hour after it ended), they are still very traumatised. They've spent a month in a hotel and glad to be home but it's hard. Three people died in the explosion including the young woman, our neighbour we all knew well and loved. They went to her gravesite few days ago.
All they were getting in response to questions about the investigation into the explosion are lies which changed from day to day until they no longer feel the need to respond at all.

Not suppose to ask questions in Russia. 'How dare they' i hear them say.

One famous dissident in America told me that i am now officially (whatever that means) a dissident. This has been established by the Russian dissident community in the US on the grounds that i am fighter for the truth, justice and people. And that, perhaps most importantly, i have suffered for my efforts. All the dissidents from the Soviet era are at least twice my age. The developments of the recent years are forcing the term to come back to life?

Khodorkovsky school

A few words i wanted to say about my trip to the orphanage or rather school for children from underprivileged families founded by Mikhail Khodorkovsky. It is run by his parents and i was invited to attend their end of the year concert. There are 40 children from Beslan in this school. It was a wonderful event and the kids were fantastic. There was this light about them that only given s second chance at life or a chance at better life have. When i spoke with Boris Moiseevich, Mikhail's father, he said that he is not very hopeful when it comes to the earlier release of his son from jail, or, in fact that he, with his fragile health, will ever see him free again. I did not dare ask him how he feels about the future of Russia, the country i know he loves very much.
They are keeping very low profile as the government already made an attempt to shut down this school.

Власть -Дура

Власть-дура

И в их подковерных играх все примитивно. И цели и методы. И в желании выслужиться, которое влечет часто глупые поступки, а их последствия со свистом возвращаются назад и бьют его же выслуживающегося по лбу. Власть выглядела смешно даже на инагурации. И рукоплещущие холопы и угрюмый Путин и испуганный вусмерть Медведев. А оттого что власть дура, еще обиднее. Значит мы все еще большие идиоты.

Untouchable no more?

New prime minister Putin, who today at the meeting of the government and the parties where he was voted in (not unanimously) to become PM, was yelled at by the leader of the Communists Genady Zuganov. From untouchable to vulnerable? Will he be poked at and attacked more and more and will he be able to take it?

Medvedev - our new boss. Right....

I would like to congratulate all Russians with the new president. During the inauguration he looked petrified. What a joke....

I want to go ahead and take Aliev to court, or rather make an attempt to) but i am worried this will make life for Skanderbek even worse. I've made mistakes before, thinking it will be ok, nothing bad will happen. Had too much faith in the 'new Russia'. It is not safe for me to go back to Russia, that seems to be the consensus. It breaks my heart....

Ella Kesaeva

Ella is probably one of the hardest fighting and most defiant people among those who were affected by the Beslan tragedy. Sadly, even among those who went through Beslan there are many who are afraid to criticize the government.

Today i got a letter from Beslan addressed to the governor of Ossetia expressing the desire of its citizens to invite our play to their region. The letter has 94 signatures of the victims of the school siege. Yesterday i spoke with Ella Kesaeva, the leader of the Voice of Beslan, and she said that they support us fully and thanked me, which means more to me than any other kind of acceptance.

Skanderbek is still very much harassed by the press in Dagestan. The government 'ass-lickers' have launched a real attack on the director and his theatre in the pro-government papers. I spoke to him today. He is a fighter and wants to battle on.

Media. Love/hate (cliche)

I've now had time to read up on some of the things that have been published in the press and on the net on our play situation. I am very thankful to all who supported us and who gave us platform to speak, because there was absolutely every need for us to react to what happened.
I am at the same time very sad that some government pleasers painted me as some celeb wannabe, implying that that's why i chose this subject matter to begin with. Suggesting i knew there will be scandal. Firstly, there are many much easier ways to become famous these days. Just go party and bed hopping with the right people, show a little boob and you're set. I lived and breathed this topic for a long time and always had the blessing of the victims and their families. My heart bled all over it. My commitment to the families is absolute. Right now I am trying to find sponsors to keep their organisation (Nord Ost) going, as all the old ones have left them in the cold.
I wanted resonance for this play but NOT of this kind. Man, you never can get used to human pale bitterness.

The latest news I have from Skanderbek, the director of the Russian theatre in Makhachkala is that the play will not be performed again in any foreseeable future. Contrary to what the president's administrations has been saying to the press, the director has been told not to put the play up again. Skanderbek has been under a lot of fire in those recent weeks. Aside from the intelegenzia, most others seem to be loyal to their government, or to be more precise, their fear. Their desire to live as people and not slaves hasn't shown its face. Now what?

This notice appeared on the theatre doors...

the following morning.

Last fragment

During the play i leaned over once to look at Mr Aliev and he seemed to be watching with every bit of attention. Throughout the play the military heads sitting in the row behind me were discussing the factual truth of the play, admitting that that's how it happened 'back then'. Amusingly they got very excited they heard the sound of the helicopter. 'The chopper', one of them yelled out, almost like a kid. At the last beat of music Mr Aliev, his entourage and 'siloviki'-MVD, FSB men rose and without applauding, left the theatre. All the time as i was taking bows on stage, along with the cast members and the director, i kept thinking 'this is not good, unless it's just a security measure, for him, the president, to leave before everyone else, but...no, this is not good.'

I stood outside the theatre with Dmitry when the president passed right by me on his way to the car. He did it ina very demonstrative way.

After i did a few more interviews in Skanderbek's office, he showed up looking pale. It took me a few monutes to get out of him what happened. 'The president is very angry. The play is no more. You are not to know about this. I am to tell you tomorrow that the main actress got sick.'

We sat with a couple of very nice people, unaware of the reality of the situation, at the banquet table mostly empty for the lack of our high ranked guests, trying to pretend all is well. It was a pitiful and painful sight. It was a shocking and painful situation. It was shocking and painful, period.

18 hours later...

...you don't.

The banner on the theatre with the name of the play....

Here you see it.

Further in fragments...

By the time i arrived at the theatre, president's guards were already there. Since the whole thing was very unexpected, it was all very chaotic and many major things were overlooked. It was one of the actors playing terrorists who had a good sense to tell the guards that they'll be running up on stage with machine guns. 'Good thing you told us', they said, 'we would have shot you all if you hadn't'. They searched the theatre and checked the prop guns few hours before the performance. There was much discussion about where they can be positioned during th play, as not to be in the way of our actors moving around the auditorium.

Passing through the theatre foyer i saw groups of bulky self-assured men, mostly in suits. In fact only one of these generals wore his uniform. I was told to wait for the president's arrival and not go into the auditorium as i will be introduced to him. Finally i saw him coming up the stairs, his entourage few steps behind him. He shook my hand. I said 'Glad you could come' (what else do you say?), and he responded with 'i'm very interested'.

In fragments

The play based on the Moscow theatre siege has been in rehearsals for over 4 months, during which time director Skanderbek Tulparov has gone public with his plans, and has appeared on local TV and radio shows talking in detail about the project. After a while i've stopped asking him if any of the so called officials have made any advances. They haven't, and i shamed myself for being so behind and not giving enough credit to the immense progress in Russian. I began to think of ways to make this into an anti-terrorist act of some kind, inviting as many of my Nord Ost guys to Makhachkala and some of the Beslan mothers as well as some of the officials and human rights orgs people, to have a 'round table' talks. In fact this was initially suggested by Skanderbek's friend, one of the ministers in Dagestan. For the lack of cash we couldn't do it, and all we could afford is to invite one of the reps of Nord Ost organisation, Dmitry Milovidov, who lost his daughter in the siege.

On the day of the premiere we were suddenly told that president Aliev will be coming to the performance.

Russia, Dagestan, 08

What happened to me and my play in the last few weeks in Russia is shocking. Will write up everything very soon. Getting my thoughts together and deciding on the legal actions. I am very disappointed and tired but not broken.

The unsolicited ads on the Moscow metro for fake MOTs, University diplomas,IDs maintain for me this coutry's mystery. Sure we know that there is a whole lot of corruption but the fake bits of paper ensuring your status as a qualified driver, doctor(!) etc widely available on the black market in the 90s are the thing of the past, right? Not so it seems. Unless those ads on the metro are aimed solely at the very desperate illegal immigrants, like those from Tajikistan who work for pennies and have right to, well, nothing, not unlike Mexicans in the US. Either way this country, unlike any other, presents plenty if opportunities for time travel. And that's what we love it for.))))

Moscow, 08

Yesterday in Moscow I had an appointment with a doctor as I seem to have some kind of sinus problem that’s been bothering me a lot recently. The building of the free hospital where I arrived for my consultation had no work done in ages. Paint coming off the walls, elevator barely working, endless rude yelling. When I tried to go in, the security guard (like there is anything to steal) ordered me to go back to the cloakroom and get what turned out to be plastic shower caps you buy for a modest price of 10 roubles and put over your shoes.
The doctor that performed some form of water boarding on me, which admittedly did ease up my sinus, was left unaffected by my terrorist joke and proceeded to tell me with a grim face that she has no clue what the government does with all the oil money, since the doctors in this hospital, many, like herself with a PhD status, see none of it. Never did, not once. It is the unofficial ‘envelope’ salaries that help them stay afloat. Knowing this and fully prepared, even if extremely uncomfortable, I slipped on her desk my envelope with a 100-dollar bill in it, pushing it gently towards her. ‘You shouldn’t have’ she said and of course it’s true but who am I to fight against this dominant factor of Russian economy.
There are more old ladies begging in the metro than a few months ago. People are often uncontrollably, unreasonably rude. All women under the age of forty wear high spike-heeled boots. Mostly in black and occasionally red. Drinking and smoking youths are hanging on every corner like the whole place is a ghetto. And this is a respectable area of Moscow we’re talking about. As I got into a tram the driver with a burning cigarette hanging from his mouth sold me a ticket. One dollar one way, and I had to get off after two stops. The prices here generally are compatible to those in London and NY. The service is not. Where the hell is all the progress?
This is my motherland.

One Man Show

Russia's today's presidential elections realistically have only one name on the ballot. That of Dmitri Medvedev. For the wider public, outside of small groups who by the force of inertia still follow Zuganov the Communist and Zhirinovsky the clown, and aside from a complete unknown Bagdanov 'the democrat', there is no one else on that ballot they can vote for. The public acts as an inactive, uninterested observer. Most of the people i know are refusing to participate in what they see as a farce. The turnout, no matter what the official number announced, will be low. Having said that, no matter what the turn out is to be, in my view the percentage of the votes received by each candidate will be a genuine reflection of how those few who did take part voted. Increasigngly upset by what's going on in Russian on my own personal level, i fear more and more that this one man show is what fits russia best.

there is something going on right now, which i can't say anything about. not yet. but i do need to make this note.

recent

I've done an interview for a documentary film on Russian espionage for a well known channel, which i can't currently disclose. The other interviewees include Ahmed Zakayev, Mr B.B, and high up MI6 guys. Fun company. The irony is in the fact that some of the interviewees, off the record of course, tried to imply that i am an FSB person. My, oh my.....

Putin was in Dagestan few days back and said that the people of this region deserve special treatment because they once stood up, paying for it with their blood, not just for their own republic but for the unity of Russia as a whole. He's been going back in time to the 1999 events in Dagestan a lot recently. He rode into power on the tale of those events.

Dagestan production updates

Trying to keep a diary of our progress in Dagestan. So far nothing from the authorities. People are calling to book tickets though. Someone with intellectual authority has called the director to thank him for taking on this subject. We will have to see....

Mavlet told me that every day when he goes to the rehearsals of my play in Makhachkala he expects someone from the local high official office to arrive to discuss the production with him. And they won't be talking about the lighting. The manager of the theatre is walking around pale, thinking that someone from the local Dagestan audience and out of profound dislike for the Chechens, might start a real fight with the actors who portray Chechens. Actors, on their part, are afraid that mujahadeen might use the situation and come and replace some of the actors who play mujahadeen and do something nasty. It's comical)))....or.....not....

Theatre of politics

Politics can be absolutely riveting. At least American politics. It's like really good theatre with great writing and talented acting. To add to that, and this is the best thing about it, in both cases there is a good amout of genuine emotion. Or i might simply be a lot less cynical than i thought. Obama/Clinton debate at the Kodak theatre in LA was the best thing i've seen in a while. And that includes film, football, stars on ice, desperate housewives and porn.

I sometimes hear, even from the people i think i know, a question: 'Why do you do this?' They mean my interest in social and religious issues, the conflicts that are in existence and are about to erupt, the unfair treatment of the old people AND officers of the secret services, the carelessness of the government and the selfishness of the people. The moral pit that we're all in. All in all, the things that are generally considered to be unsafe. My answers vary but, regardless of the wording, the thing is, i can't do it any other way.

And i really feel...

...Vysotsky would have never accepted the way things are now. He wouldn't have made it to see the vulgarity of today's reality of cheap celebs and oligarchs. He would have died once the breakdown of the Soviet Union, which he so much desired, turned into a heartless, soulless land of gangsters, hookers and contract killings.

Vysotsky

Today would have been Vladimir Vysotsky's 70th birthday. He is a Poet. Actor. Artist. Genius. He is a legend, as valid today as he was in the politically stale and grim 60s and 70s. Fighter. The voice of the people. I was 3 when he died. He was 42.... He is my hero. He is our Russian Hero......

Heath Ledger

i wasn't going to write about this but decided i can't not to say somethings since i've been feeling it very deeply. He was great, true actor, a genuine talent, a lovely man who didn't care about the celebrity circus. I exchanged messages with Heath's agent who is responsible for his career and together they would have done so much more. it was not to be. He is devastated. We all are. RIP beautiful talented young man.

Theatre director from Dagestan, my friend, was in Moscow recently and while meeting with some film industry pals to discuss various projects asked what they thought of a film idea based on Nord Ost events. Their reply was, great... but not here and.. not now and... not on our money and... not for our audience. This reminded me of a line from Evgeni Schawarz's play The Dragon when the city governor is asked if Lancelot the warrior can with the battle over the almighty Dragon, he says, sure he can, but... not now and... not here an...d not over the Dragon and... not Lancelot. The man was a genius.

The Medvedev state sponsored PR campaign is well underway. On every news bulletin 70% is the coverage of his activities, from work to play. You barely see Putin anymore. In my view Medvedev, with his very civilised appearance and sweet shyness, is not more than a leader of Belgium or Luxembourg. Not Russia.

Following the process of party nominations campaing in the US does make elections in Russia look pretty...hmm...different. In America you know it's a real and genuine process the way the front runner changes almost on the daily basis. But in Russia for a number of also genuine reasons we can't do any better, not yet. P.S I support Hilary.

Beslan Mothers, Trunov

Going over some information about political asylum for one of the Beslan mothers i remembered how i asked few months back, ever so carefully, if there is any way i could adopt one of the many children left without both parents or any family as a result of the 2004 attack. Their reply was 'we never let our ones go. ' They consider these kids their own. Partly due to the tragedy that united them. Partly because in North Caucasus there is little distinction between you own kid and that of you neighbour in terms of how you treat them. Extraordinary.

Patrushev on Nord Ost

Head of FSB Patrushev in a channel 1 film about him and the Russian secret service admitted that the rescue efforts in Nord Ost were messed up. Not the operation itself as that was impeccable, but the total chaos that was the attempt to save gassed hostages. There was enough antidote he says, but the people who were adminestering it were unable to keep track of they injected and who they didn't. This is little comfort to the families. Tatyana Karpova, head of non-government organization Nord Ost, said that they don't believe what he says and still hope to bring those responsible to justice. I think this statement means that they just feel it's too little and too late. I also feel Patrushev will step down when Putin leavs his post, thus the unepected sincerity.

Both in Dagestan and Chechnya my friends, well respected people, theatre director and chief editor of a popular paper, ran fo Duma. From the opposition parties. Both lost, but i'm proud of them.

Medvedev is starting to look and sound more and more like Putin. The voice, the manner of speaking, the walk with one arm making a wide span movement while another one stays still and much more. Its rather amusing. I think its an unconscious thing on his part. It might pass and he will come into his own. Again, still optimistic.

Most of the presidential candidates from the opposition attended th Nord Ost-5th anniversary event. None were given a chance to speak. Relatives were not about to make the anniversary of the tragedy that took lives of their loved ones into a political circus. The only people who spoke were the relatives themselves, Beslan mothers, 9/11 representative and me.

The move with Medvedev destroyed opposition’s platform, and ripped all the core anti - Putin arguments out of their hands. Berezovsky is bound to be getting drunk somewhere because everything he said in his insane speaking rampages proved false. ‘Only by force my friends’, he used to yell. The claims of country sinking into totalitarian regime and Putin planning to reign for centuries are weakened. Some claim that Medvedev candidacy is fitting because he will step down at the first request and allow Putin back to power. I find it hard to believe. No matter how much of your position you owe to the previous leader, once in power it moulds you. I am optimistic.

'medved'-the bear-he is not

Putin has done the unexpected, he supported the candidacy of Medvedev, the current deputy prime minister, for the presidency. Many have been screaming, it even became fashionable, about Russia's inevitable descent into totalitarian state of being and the forces of siloviki, the military, taking everything uder their control. Putin's latest move contradicts that. He opted for a liberal in mind shape and form successor. In fact i can see Medvedev as a politician in any of the European developed capitalist coutries. Lets see what happens next.

Dagestan - Russia's least favourite kid

On my flight from Moscow to the capital of the Russian province of Dagestan, Makhachkala a young and attractive woman Naida sitting next to me offered me chocolate. ‘I can’t wait to get home’ she says. ‘I like Moscow, but it’s just not the same. Home is home’.

As soon as you step off the plane, the scene is immediately eclectic. In Makhachkala airport old Zhiguli are lined up next to brand new Porsche Cayenne, while in a distance I can see a few cows munching on the airfield grass.

The city is made up of old historic corners, construction sites as well as brand new cinemas and shopping centres. It’s autumn but even through the grey misty air one can imagine the beauty of this place once the spring arrives. It lies between the Caspian Sea and the beautiful Greater Caucasus mountains. Almost every kind of fruit and flower grows here. People are kind and welcoming and it’s an ancient tradition of the North Caucasus to treat guests like kings. Literally. When I was invited to a famous poet’s house for lunch, so much thought went into the preparation of the meal to ensure I enjoyed it and so much fuss was made of my arrival that I didn’t know how to react. And then I was showered with gifts.

The amount of destruction the republic of Dagestan has suffered is the sad result of the chaos of the 90s and years of military campaign in the region. In 1999 they resisted and forced away a large army of Chechen rebels, who came to fight Russians and establish or rather impose shariat law in their republic. Along the route of the Russian troops many Dagestan women gave soldiers bread, meat and fruit as a manifest of support. Dagestanees see it as a great misfortune that they share 600 km border with Chechnya. This border lies across mountains, which Chechen rebels arrogantly use for training, hideouts, storing weapons etc. They also frequently venture into the city to recruit new members, get supplies and ambush Russian troops. Escaping from anti-terrorist squads these Islamic terrorists or freedom fighters, whatever you preference, often break into private homes and create a standoff, in which the anti-terrorist squad invariably comes out on top. People from the nearby homes and offices watch from their windows as the house with the rebels is pounded by grenade launchers and raided with armoured personnel carriers. One must keep in mind that this is happening practically in Moscow’s front yard, a mere two-hour flight away from the capital. This is a shorter distance than Miami is from NYC. Luckily, America doesn’t have this same problem and England doesn’t fight potential terrorists in full-blown combat operations on its own territory. Russia does. This reality to some degree explains the presence of a security guard with a heavy-duty machine gun in the hallway of my Makhachlkala hotel.

Dagestan is a predominately Muslim republic, especially now that most Russians have left, not wanting to live in a ‘zone of an ongoing antiterrorist operation’. Majority of people in Dagestan are what we like to call moderate Muslims. Older generation has, for the most part, never really become very involved in religion. This is largely because of the lack of any religion (except communism) in the soviet Russia. I personally praise them for not adapting alarmingly quickly to the new (to them) notions in the new era. I feel it is more sincere. Some of the important positions in the region are still held by hard core communists, now in their 60s and 70s. They reminisce about the past when, as one of them put it to me, ‘no one asked where you were from and no one cared’. As for the young, they drink and party, wear latest fashions and behave like any other carefree brood.

On the backdrop of building sites and fruit markets and just a few blocks from the recently destroyed terrorist safe house, there are… theatres. There are five in this city. The night I went to the Russian dramatic theatre named after Maxim Gorky, a huge solid building with impressive 800-seat auditorium and long history, they were playing Chekhov’s Uncle Vanya. It is truly very sad. This in every way grand theatre barely has enough actors, as no thespians want to come here to work. Actually no one wants to travel here, period. This place has so much potential as a tourist destination yet there isn’t a single tourist. On the contrary there are very few jobs for the young here and many end up leaving.

This is a budget republic. There are thirty-seven ethnic groups in Dagestan and the same number of languages, but the official and widely spoken language here is Russian. I’ve rarely met as many people in one place so patriotic about Russia as I did here. Yet, I can’t help but feel that Russia treats Dagestan like an adopted child who, although a really good kid, ends up at the police station way too often. But a kid that wants to be loved, and the worst thing you can do is look at him with irritation or ignore him.

On my flight back a girl sitting next to me was again called Naida. It was her first time on the plane and she was travelling to Moscow to work in a department store. Unlike my first Naida, she is moving away from home to try to find a better life.

As I got into a taxi at Povelezky train station the driver asked me where I travelled. When I told him he responded with a shocked ‘My God! there is a lot of trouble there. I explained that people are still trying to have a life out there and that they are optimistic that everything will work out. ‘Lets hope so’, he said, ‘they are our people after all.

Duma, duma....

In an act of patriotism i went and voted yesterday. There will now be 4 parties in the Duma. None of the democrats got in. Were the results fixed? I doubt it. 64% is rather modest for United Russia's huge ambitions. And Democrats who have in the last few years shown 0 principal and with their constant bitter internal arguments and hysteria, didn't stand much chance (even if they did get my vote)

dagestan

In a few days i'll be in Dagestan. We will be discussing in detail the staging of my play. There has been a fair amount of military activity there recently which only means that the time is right.

Five years on

Friday marked 5 yers since the end of the moscow theatre siege. The memorial service attracted a good enough number of people but not enough for my comfort. And my comfort is in knowing people care. Many politicians and presidential candidates showed up and a lot of media. Mothers of Beslan were there as well as victims of other terrorist attacks, including 9/11. I gave a short speech as did 3 of the Nord Ost families and Beslan mothers. At the reception later i ended up discussing politics with the oposition leaders. Kasparov sat there with his hands on his face being very dramatic. Much was said, and felt, especially as i spoke to Beslan mothers and i will write all of that up...but later. It's hard, very hard.

Anna

I feel a bit concerned that i'm writing things Anna might have said or done, and she is not around to correct me. She can't tell me if i got it wrong or even if she feels i have no right to do this. Every so often i have to stop to fight this feeling.

Today is one year since Anna was killed. RIP dear Anya. And thank you.

amazing film about muslims in britain who converted to christianity and how they suffer from other muslims. there are christian groups that train people to penetrate muslim communities as well as travel to middle eastern countries and try to convert muslims to christianity. two were executed by taliban, surprise surprise. sheer madness.

some day

I wish political issues were addressed as openly in Russia as they are in America. Especially such important geo-political issues as military conflicts. General Petraeus was grilled today by the congress.

Anna

I am writing my script about Anna and Nord Ost and spent many hours every day rereading her articles. she had a very unique style of writing. you become part of her thinking process and her emotional journey. It doesn't register when i read about Russians arresting suspects in her murder. She really was an amazing woman whose goal was to help those in tragic situation, to make their voices heard, to fight those who abuse power. To fight evil.

Met my friend today, former bureau chief of Al Jazeera in the US now attempting to set up independent ie out of state's control news channel in Cairo, Egypt. His main sponsor has reduced the amount of the promised investment, and is very likely to be trying to pull out of the deal altogether, most certainly out of fear of the backlash from the state. Currently there isn't a single news channel in Egypt that's not under state's control so i do hope my friend succeeds. But it's a hard road.

Watched a fragment on cnn today about prostitution in Iraq. Many women who as a result of this war, end up in a dire situation, with their husbands killed or jobless, with money to feed their children become prostitutes. i am trying to imagine how they do it, because they don't parade the streets in stockings. a lot of those women try to kill themselves because they do it still unable to accept that they are doing it. It's hard enough for those who slip into that kind of activity in the western world, it's 100 times worse in their culture.

i am now writing a number of essays about my life in the context of Russia and Russian politics. I am having a great time doing it feeling absolutely no need to be politically correct.

could it be?

There is an interesting idea that Putin before he leaves office to clean his name will order a proper investigation into Beslan and Nord Ost and actually have people who were responsible punished. Actual evil bastards who were behind it. I would so love to see that happen i am going to start praying. The tape of Beslan school explosions that shows that there was an explosion outside the theatre surfaced recently out of nowhere for a reason....

Another very important aspect is that the law in the Russian constitution that doesn't allow for Russian citizens to be extradited was actually part of trying to move away from the Soviet ways. It was created to insure that Russian citizens won't be given out (or exchanged) for political reason the way Solzhenitsyn and Rostrapovich were back in the 60s and 70s.

lost on translation

The info that came out and i was questioned on on the radio is that Russia threatens to throw out 80 diplomats. That was false info as all russians said was that if they reacted with the same measures as Britain to their extradition demands by now British mbassy would be 80 people short. and it's small thngs like this that add to the growing mutual dislike.

Brits have expelled 4 Russian diplomats as a result of Russia refusing to extrodite Lugovoy. This whole this is a circus. It's a joke. Why on earth would Britain want to ruin its relationship with Russia is beyond me. It's Russia! Russia has 116 dollars worth of natural resources per person when Englad has 9. Russia is one of the key players in war on terror (as much as i hate this term, the fact remains). I was commenting on the radio this morning and they asked: So, Natalia, do you think this is a beggining of another cold war? I said, i hope we're smarter and wiser than that...

As i am reading The death of the Dissident i am feeling really sorry for Litvinenko. He was fooled and used in the most disgusting manner. At the same time i can't ignore claims made by the people i do trust that he was 'ratting out his own' like there is no tomorrow from the start. I think that once he became exposed to B. Berezovsy's riches he became to blinded by them that he started to do everything he could to become some part of this lifestyle (possibly not without pressure from his wife. It is then that he started building his polonium proof coffin. That last time i saw him he was like a disorientated scared puppy in the way he behaved around B.B and A Z. It was disgusting. If they would have told him to eat dog shit in front of everyone he would have done. There was no feeling at all that he was among friends. Desperation and fear. Soon followed by his agonising death.

Russophobia, for real...

Met up with my friend last night, one of this country's best journalists who works for one of the world's oldest and most respected publications. She told me how recently, at a meeting where most of her paper's top people were present, the idea came up and was widely and passionately supported to do a set of pieces on Russia. The connecting theme being how much we hate Russians and why. Apparently the word 'hate' was used more than once in this emotional discussion. The range of topics was everything from how Russians made property in the UK unaffordable to evil Russian nature through the centuries. Never thought i'd have to side with Russia's legal representatives, such as the Russian ambassador to the UK who say there is evidence of serious Russophobia in this country. Like my friend says this nation needs to grow up.

Me as the FSB/MI6/etc Agent

A Russian internet news site, a very popular one, which operates from the States has published my interview but with the following headline 'Whose project is 'Pelevine'. It is later implied that i work for the secret services, but does not specify which ones and mentions both Russians and Brits as main possibilities. The lady who wrote it later emailed me saying don't worry about this, a healthy portion of scandal hasn't hurt anyone. what????

www.newswe.com

Me and Goldfarb on RTVi

Last Sunday as Bush and Putin were meeting for an informal talks i was a guest on a popular political show Perekrestok on RTVi. It is a crossfire type show and i was up against Mr Alex Goldfarb, Mr Berezovsky's brain. The subject was Amercan-Russian relationship Mr Goldfarb claiming that America must boycott Russia which, as he sees it, has become a police state. He and the host tried to stir clear of the Litvinenko topic. There were many calls coming in and people were casting votes in his or my support. I was able to hold my own even though i was very nervous beforehand. I did well i think. He ended up getting 73% and i got 27% which really isn't bad considerig the mind set of most of the audience of this program. Many of my friends and family who happened to be watching said that i came across very strong. It really was an incredible experience. The calls were actually in my support.

Ti ch'ih halop budesh? That's how i feel more and more. There is this pressure to side with one political group or another and i don't like it. Like i am expected to stand fully by the agenda of 1 group and 1 group alone. I feel i want to 'vote against all candidates'.

In NY an influencial media person asked me in whose interests it might be to giving Yulia Latynina, a radically anti-Putin journalist, as much press as possible. This request for my friend's participation in the Latynina campaign was coming from Mr Goldfarb, Berezovsky's right hand man. They are trying to make her into new Anna Politkovskaya. She is demonstrating amazing loyalty to those people. She is also making an attempt to become the next Nord Ost guru but that will never happen as Tatyana Karpova and Nord Ost non-government organisation are about to take her to court over her first and most likely last Nord Ost article in Novaya Gazeta. Also, the position is taken.

So Oleg Gordievsky, former KGB colonel, was awarded a medal by the Queen for his work for British secret services. To me this means that the British government is consciously taking the confrontation with the Russians to another level. Within months we went from Russians awarding medals to British naval officers for saving the Russian submarine crew in 2005 and Brits giving medals to the Russian secret services guys for their help after the 2005 London bombings to this. I foresee possible arrests of the 'Russian spies' on British territory and the relationship deteriorating even further. Sadly.

I am planning a trip to Chechnya possibly with my guys from Russia today and Al Jazeera. I am thinking of the angle and what the focus should be. I reaaly want to concentrate on how young people feel and what they think about the future of their land and their own. I'd love to talk to Ramzan too.

I've been thinking about politics rather too much recently and i do have moments when i want to get out. But...i still have a lot to say and, more importantly apply myself in a practical way. And Nord Ost, especially the people, is not something you take up when you feel like it. It's for life.

Chechenskoe Obshestvo

I was at the Frontline last nigth for Q and A session with Timur Aliev chief editor of the most liberal publication in Chechnya Chechen Society. I asked him a question which he kindly answered, and when it was all done came up to him. I said 'thank you' and he goes 'Thank you, for the play'. 'You know me?' He said 'Of course, you were on the front page of our paper'. A lovely man, very smart and brave. Answering my question one of the very interesting things he said was that young people in Chechnya actually genuinely look up to Ramzan Kadyrov and the claims by the rebels that young Chechens are joining their side in their hundreds is not true.

load of bull

As long as people believe that ‘FSB blowing up Russia’ is banned in Russia when in reality it’s on sale in every book store, and Novaya Gazeta is somehow seized before it arrives on news stands when in fact it’s widely available, the rift between Russia and the West will grow.

Anna’s last book published only in Russian just went on sale in Russia and is already sold out.

In view of the recent US-Russia related events and the forthcoming showdown at the G8 i suggest everyone watches Dr.Strangelove just to reenforce for themselves how pathetic this whole arms race idea is. I saw it again a couple of days ago as i am writing my own political farse.

shame really

Я не правозащитник, и не левозащитник. Я не вижу ничего за что стоит бороться всеми возможными силами. Перестала видеть.

if you weren't gone...

I'm sure if Anna was alive she'd write about this new Malik/Ramzan alliance. But she can't because they killed her. There is every reason to think Malik was involved, for the same reasons he was involved in Nord Ost. And Ramzan, he didn't help plot it but very much gave his approval once it happened. As one of those people told me 'she is where she should be'.

case closed...

It looks like Nord Ost case is going to be closed. This means it's pretty much over. This made big news in Russia. The reason given is very strange. The case is going to be closed because the terrorists are dead or in hiding, It is stated officially! that there were 52 hostage takers and 40 of them were killed. This is the first time they admit that a number of them escaped. They just want the case closed. I spoke to Tatayna, the president of non-government organisation Nord Ost, and they will appeal and she remains positive. But i feel this is it. It's sad, as their lives will now be just sorrow and there will be no more purpose, no mission. Just feeling of grief and injustice.

...

Today's Lugovoi claim that Livinenko and Berezovsky are MI6 spies and British secret services were involved in the murder is an interesting twist. It is very possible that BB was involved with MI6 one way or another but i don't think they were behind the murder. It might be that they now know who was behind it but can't uncover.
Anything goes in the dark world of politics. I hate it.

malik

Malik Saidulaev was in Chechnya having a nice friendly meeting with Ramzan. He is planning to come back to Chechnya, open an office and invest a portion of his billions into his beloved motherland. He holds no grudges, how nice. How quickly sworn enemies become friends in politics. I'm sure he wll soon be offered an official post in the government in return for large financial investments, but not into the economy naturally, but private accounts of Ramzan and a number of Russian officials. I remeber the old days when he spent hours telling me about how he will rebuild Chechnya and i thought back then he was sincere, but since the he decided to play by the different rules.

...

A well established English journalist i met at this event in the Forest Hill on Saturday said to me that he feels that, if not Berezovsky but any other man from another country would have made the statements he made, about planning a revolution in Russia (mentioning blood on the streets as something unavoidable), this man would be under house arrest. I was happy to hear that from an English journalist for the first time witout my prompting it. He aslo mentioned a coulple of people (whose names i will not disclose) who worked with Berezovsky and Zakayev and the rest of the gang as interpretors and are convinced he, BB, killed Litvinenko.

I was at Hyderabad meeting/celebrations yesterday. There are 200 million Muslims in India. Still a minority in India but that's more than in any country in the world, including Pakistan. There were prayers and speeches some of prety radical nature. The boss of this association looked like a regular gangster with his gold tie and gold watch and those mannerism; it apeared like he was on the Sopranos set and got lost.
Very interesting all in all.

BBC4 'The name of the British soldied killed in Afghanistan has been revealed....' We've gotten too used to hearing this line.

...

You can't change the world, only your attitude towards it. Is it true? I hate to think that. It hurts me when i hear from my Nord Ost guys that after Strasbourg they will give up. Is the world so corrupted and our minds so twisted that it's beyond repair?

lugovoi

So, Britain is charging Andrei Lugovoi with Litvinenko's murder. Everyone is talking about relationship between the countries deteriorating further. I was on the radio this morning and said again that i don't think it's Kremlin or FSB. I saw interview with Lugovoi and he says he's innocent. Most importantly he said that the murderers are in London not Moscow. He said that the only thing ghe regrets is getting close to Litvinenko and that whole group, it' sclear who he means. He said that now he realises that what happened to him and Litvinenko, the planning of it started a long time ago. Those strange calls, meetings, business offers, he said. I was framed and my and my family's lives were put in danger, he added. I believe him. I have my rather specific theory to which i'll come back.

wrong way

So, Kasparov wasn't allowed to board the plane to Samara anf therefore couldn't attent the Other Russia march. This created a perfect opportunity for another bit of Anti-Kremlin PR. Putin and those around him are not so stupid as to hand these guys more and more chances to be trashed. I think Kasparov lost his away and i'm seing Berzovsky symptoms, sadly. He knows how to use or create a situation that would benefit him. It's no longer about people but about his own struggle for power with people, like my Nord Ost guys, getting used along the way. Still some people with shaved heads and swastika manages to march down lovely Samara streets so that's......good...

question

It is always interesting talking to Yosri, the man picked by Bin Laden to interview Al Qaeda leaders after 9/11. He said that he is surprised he is so controversial when he is simple doing his job. But he is doing what nobody else dares to do. He constantly puts himself in great danger.
I started a conversation about why Arabic culture is totally ignored in western shcools. If kids in America and England studied at least a little bit of Arabic literature, when they grow and become full memebrs of society, their understanding of the east and their attitude would have been completely different.

crisis

It was easy when i had something i believed in. Now that the political forces here in London have, in my opinion, completely disgraced themselves and the opposition in Russia is a joke, there is no one to stand with, exhibiting a determend look and ready for a fight. It is a crisis of beliefs and ideals for me.

post Nat Geo

It was one hell of a trip to Moscow. Continuation of the spy drama. Our attempt to get interviews from command center guys wasn't very successful. Still too raw, still under great secrecy, an ongoing investigation and the current frosty relationship with England didn't help at all. This is post Litvinenko reality and reality of terrorism and secret services, the same everywhere. The shoot was great. Fab Basayev.