Since we...

.... have no way of knowing what might follow the publication in The Independent, we reserve our right to stand tall and with dignity. Our feelings for each other are stronger than ever. Yesterday Andrei said to me that i am the most important person in his life.

Loneliness is difficult to bare but not nearly as bad the sense of the unknown. Like jumping out with a parachute, not sure if it will open or not.

This is how it pans out.

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/passion-deadly-secrets-and-betrayal-in-putins-russia-1671597.html

My baby sister in Chekhov's The Seagull.

A much treasured photo.

Something rather odd about this photo.

Counter Terrorism Operation in Chechnya is over. But is terrorism?

A day after Chechen President Kadyrov announced that the Counter Terrorism Operation' in Chechnya is over, rebel fighters have reminded everyone of their presence by engaging in a battle with the federal forces. I fear this will repeat many times over. They don't ant to be written off so their activity will be on the rise. Grozny with its shopping malls and fountains is not much more than a 'potemkin village'. Doku Umarov and the lot in the mountains, who are still living in the conditions of war (not a counter terrorism operation), will start involving young people from mountain villages and beyond with more vigor.

Why and for what reason does one stand by the person put in the most horrendous position, betrayed by colleagues and friends? Firm belief in his innocence is one. Inability to withstand such crude form of injustice is another. But what keeps you going day after day when sometimes you just want to crawl into a whole from too much pressure and too many responsibilities. But...if you give up on him then the world gives up on him and then...it's over. A good man doesn't deserve it.

?

There is a place in Moscow, a brothel, where women pay cover charge and take home whatever they make from whatever it is that they do. The place calls itself a theatre since it does a show-girls, or rather their silhouettes, dance behind a curtain for a few minutes, so... they're a theatre and pay taxes off their 'modest' income. Does anyone know if this happens in other places in the world? I don't mean the existence of brothels of course.

It's been the most draining few months of my life that i have spent here, in Russia. It is this draining, I'm sure, in any place where justice does not exist. The daily trauma of having someone you care about in jail pretty much outrules any form of social activity. Luckily i will soon be able to channel it all to affect. To have affect in proper framework with proper results.

This is Zherdevka, 130 km from Tambov, where the hearings in my fiance's case are taking place.

But really, it's all rosy.

It's late. Can't sleep; too many things rushing madly through my head.A break to see in the photo of there is any fear in my eyes. Or only concern.

A store in a Moscow metro

Guns sold next to toys.

the ugly word fear

It is so painful to see people who are being drowned not want to make it public out of fear. It's everywhere.

Book

I am in two minds about what title i should give to my book. The working title at the moment is Theatre Of Terror. Not sure if it's too Hollywood-y. The process itself is a bit difficult. At times i feel i am too emotionally engaged in it.

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Ангелина Храмцова, 1 год и 3 месяца.
Ангелине Храмцовой сейчас чуть больше года, в полугодовалом возрасте девочке поставили диагноз, прозвучавший как приговор: опухоль мозга. Три операции по постановке шунтов и шесть месяцев химиотерапии результатов не дали... Врачи развели руками. Но вопреки всем мрачным прогнозам девочка живет и отчаянно борется за жизнь. И ее двадцатилетняя мама Елизавета Храмцова тоже борется за жизнь дочери:

"... каждую ночь провожу с Линой вобнимку. Не могу представить, как жить без нее. Иногда кажется, что все, предел, сил больше нет, я тоже не железная... Но я не cдаюсь, найду силы и пойду дальше спасать мою малышку.."
Отнимая один шанс, судьба всегда даёт другой. У Ангелины он тоже есть. Немецкие врачи согласились сделать девочке операцию. Лину ждут в Германии 12 марта. Конечно, ее будут ждать и после, но с каждым днем шансы тают, а значит, счет идет не на недели даже, а на дни...

Sulim Yamadaev, a commander of a Chechen Special Forces brigade and a Hero of Russia, was shot and killed in Dubai. And no mentioning of this on any of the state controlled TV or radio stations. This is not surprising since all the evidence points to the Putin appointed Chechen president Ramzan Kadyrov. The most that will happen is he will be told off in private. Medvedev, contrary to what some optimists might be saying, is still powerless and Kremlin still doesn't care about its image in the eyes of the civilised world.

Ramzan Kadyrov is on his way to establishing Chechnya as an Islamic republic and, i have no doubt, his goal is to some day make it into an Islamic state. An ambitious man convinced of his own greatness and unique place in history for whom having reasonable amount of sovereignty will eventually not be enough. He recently introduced a law which allows to sell alcohol only two hours per day and a number of other shariat orientated laws. He publicly encouraged Chechens to embark on pilgrimage and announced a plan to build international airport. Few days ago Kadyrov has voiced that the counter-terrorist operation in Chechnya is over and all the federal troops must leave the region.

Novaya Gazeta

As I was waiting for my friend at Novaya Gazeta a pale and skinny middle-aged woman walked into the reception with a bunch of papers stapled together covered in small handwriting. She put the papers in mailbox, especially there for this purpose. "They do check this mail, don't they?" "Twice a day".
For many people Novaya Gazeta, the island of honest, objective, fearless press, is the last chance to claim some form of justice.

Russian Florists' Day

Today is Florists' Day in Russia. 8th of March, The International Women's day, it is celebrated in Russia with more vigor than in any other country (UK and US are largely unaware of this holiday). It's a day when men, by giving women flowers, are basically saying that they can stick around for a bit. The rest of the time womens' position in this country is rather unfortunate. Not much has changed since the Soviet times, when women were expected to work the same amount of hours; buy and prepare food after work; wash, clean and care for the kids, covering both working mom and housewife basis. And at any moment they could be reminded that they must know their place (no specifics of which were ever offered). Women have gained a new role, however, that of a sex toy, in a dirty, ugly, derogatory sense.
So, at the end of the day, a bunch of roses or tulips is nice but does not translate into genuine respect or even love.

THE REAL STATE OF RUSSIA

The effects of the economic crisis are becoming more tangible by the day. Rouble is weakening against both the US dollar and the Euro. Prices on the products of basic necessity are going up while people are losing jobs. All this while on the evening news Prime Minister Putin claims that rouble will become a reserve currency and that everything will turn out jolly well. Those who still have their jobs haven’t had their salary paid in two-three months. My neighbour, driver for a private textile company, my friend, journalist of one of the top selling newspapers and my buddy, Special Forces officer stationed in the problem region of Dagestan-all had their salaries held back. Private businesses are disappearing at the same scale they appeared in the early 90s. Stray dogs are sniffing at people’s bags looking for food. You see people asking for money before you get into the metro, then before you get on the train and on the train. Old women in headscarves, men in military uniform and children. According to official information during the last week of the number of unemployed has risen by 93 thousand now reaching 1,735 million people.

When the world has first entered the crisis zone, Russian officials were quick to call Russia ‘an island of stability’. It is still unclear what this statement was based on, what is clear is that it was false. Those in power have been choosing their words more carefully since then but are still attempting to paint a rosy picture using an old and reliable formula that goes like this: no matter what happens Russia is becoming stronger and will come out on top while America disintegrates. Very few believe what they’re saying and least of all themselves. The main problem of this country is in lack of action from the people more so than the actions of the government. When the government lies, no one calls their bluff and holds them responsible. There is no way of really knowing what’s happening with the economy because everyone knows aware of the games being played in the shadows. Corruption does not allow the economy to be transparent and therefore understandable accessible to the masses. Government in the meantime has gone back to trying to distract people with information about Russian enemies, oligarch Berezovsky and others.

The paradox of this country has been and still remains as follows: no one knows what is going on and what the real situation is, with power division and economy among other things, except for those physically present in Kremlin.
Will this crisis have any political consequences remains to be seen. For now, it appears, Russian people should count solely on their own survival instincts.

ASSASSINATIONS? ALAS, IT IS MOST COMMON.
Moscow, Russia


Puddles of melted snow and militia with German Shepherds. People with traditional funeral flower, red carnations that I seem to buy too often these days, are lining up to the coffin of Stanislav Markelov, the attorney shot and killed, along with a young journalist Anastasia Babyrova, in broad daylight in central Moscow on Monday. I take my place in line, among well-known human rights activists as well as youths with nose rings and green hair. One of the gravediggers, as they pass through the crowd, notes in a somewhat inappropriately upbeat tone that it started to rain.

Seeing a few TV crews I think to myself that a funeral of someone assassinated this way in America or UK would have had live CNN coverage. And, indeed, I notice that CNN crew is present here, unlike the Russian government channels. Markelov was know for taking on tough, controversial cases, that uncovered some ugly facts about corruption among Russian government officials, as well as kidnappings, torture and murders in the southern republic of Chechnya. The case of murder of a Chechen girl by Russian Army colonel was perhaps the best publicised one but not the most potentially dangerous.

It is also no accident that the journalist killed along with the attorney worked in Novaya Gazeta. In the atmosphere of censorship and self-censorship in the Russian media Novaya Gazeta is unique. It has an incredibly strong investigation unit and is a newspaper whose goal it is to talk about the things that are wrong with Russia, as that is the only way to attempt to cure the society and the system. Novaya Gazeta has had five of its journalists killed over a period of few years, including Anna Politkovskaya, to whose murder in 2006 Vladimir Putin was forced to respond by foreign journalists. In a healthy society and a free country one should be free to criticise the policies of the government, choose without fear to represent in court people who’ve been crushed by the system, expose through writing government’s dirty ugly secrets. Today Russian political regime, which keeps sliding towards being totalitarian, roots and flourishes on war, terrorism and corruption, using instability as one of its playing cards.
In Russia, as soon as you take on certain taboo subjects, as a journalist, a writer or an attorney, good people around you start telling you that they admire your courage and that they are concerned for your safety. I seem to have these conversations practically on a daily basis. Of note is the silent response of Kremlin to the most recent murders. Agenda of its residents, evidently, does not take such minor factors into consideration.

There is one thing I now absolutely believe - even though those in power might not have directly ordered the assassinations, they side with the killer and not their victims.

Anastasia

Assassinations becoming a norm

Another person assassinated in Moscow, an attorney, Stanislav Markelov. He worked on a number of controversial cases and represented the family of a Chechen girl, raped and killed by a Russian officer. With Markelov was shot yet another Novaya Gazeta journalist, 25 year-old Anastasia Babyrova. She later died in hospital.
Same blunt way-middle of the day, 3pm, in the very heart of the city.
It feels like there is handful of decent, honest, courageous people left in Russia and I think each and one of them now feels threatened. The rest-are either dancing in 'Stars on Ice' or watching it.

My Interview with the Chairman of Islamic Committee of Russia Geidar Jemal on the topic of illegal immigrant workforce.

Natalia Geidar, how are you involved in the topic of illegal immigration in Russia?
Geidar I’ve been interested in the topic of displaced persons as a broad topic for a long time. Those who end up in other countries and sometimes form Diaspora and sometimes don’t. People, who are forced to function in a different cultural or ethnic environment. There are many stages. First, these people have to focus on their ethnic origins the so home they came from. This can create ghetto or Diaspora.
Natalia Those who come here to make money do they form Diaspora?
Geidar Not yet, but they are in a process. Right now where they are, where they live is bedevil, the worst form of ghetto. In terms of people, there are different cases. Some came here in early 90s, who fled for political reasons. In recent years illegal immigrants have been coming here to just make some money. They are mainly Muslim. Political element is what turns ghetto into Diaspora.
Natalia How does the government treat them?
Geidar Well, on the one hand they need this cheap work force. They also have to stay within some form of political correctness. But they create negative reaction from the rest of the society and say, well, this is how people feel. Those who express their dislike with the presence of the immigrant workforce here also differ. There are skinheads who cut off Tajik workers and students heads off; as we know, there have been many cases. This part is done for media. There are also former militia whose function is to put pressure on immigrants and use them. They are very severe in their methods to put it mildly. Their practice is to come to those ghettos and take people away as slaves. Actual slaves. Young men are taken away by force to unload carriages, lay bricks etc for no money. These poor people work for 15 hours or more and are given a loaf of bread for 10 people. Then they’re taken back to the ghetto.
Natalia This militia don’t do it for themselves, right? So where does the order come from?
Geidar It’s business for them. They get an order from someone to bring such and such amount of slaves and they do what they do, since it goes completely unpunished.
Natalia Immigrants have no one to complain to?
Geidar They can’t do anything, since even the official work papers they were given get destroy.
Natalia So they have no rights at all…
Geidar They have no rights. The facts I’m giving you are a result of a journalistic investigation that I initiated. We went to these ghettos and talked to people. Most of it was cut out and they aired only some of the material we shot. Propaganda tells you that those workers are non-people. Even journalists like the ones I was doing the investigation with felt the same. But what they saw when we went to those ghettos shocked them. They saw educated people, teachers, nurses, middle class really. Living in those appalling conditions they manage to preserve dignity and a moral values; they even feed some Russian homeless sometimes. Within the ghetto there is no crime. When they saw it they weren’t sure what to do with it.
Natalia What are the living conditions like there?
Geidar Awful. Imagine a doghouse enlarged to the size of a room. No electricity, no heating, no windows and around 8 people live in it.
Natalia Where are these ghettos located?
Geidar They are all over, just outside Moscow. They are very much out of the sight.
Natalia Can the immigrants go home?
Geidar Many can’t. They often don’t have any valid papers for their own country anymore. They speak many languages but legally they don’t exist. People, who don’t exist. There are officially 12 million people like that in Russia. I can’t say how many of them are Ukrainians or Belarus. But in terms of Muslims I know that there are around a million immigrants from Tajikistan, more than a million of those from Kyrgyztan and around 2 million Uzbeks.
Natalia You plan to keep working on this topic?
Geidar Yes. I think this should be a topic that’s important to president Medvedev as he officially announced war on corruption. This is where illegal cash rotates. Bribes and extortions alone come to 140 million and more annually. On top of president’s involvement we need the society to get involved, as well as form a professional union. It’s a triangular structure, even if only in theory for now. In March I hope to hold a conference. The main topic - formation of the professional union. Immigrant workers need to be structured. On a positive note I think government will realise it needs these people badly. When they will no longer be able to sell oil at such high prices and it drops to 30 dollars a barrel, they will have to sell metals and timber. There is a limit to how little Russian workers are prepared to get paid, so they will have to use immigrant workers to work on timber and metals, who will be paid 3 times less. Farming is another avenue they can be applied to and the results will be very good. The market of slaves is of course something that is unacceptable. We will keep working. I feel there are prospects.

OBAMA, BOOK

Obama's 'Dreams from my Father' is a beautifully written book, heartfelt and informative at once. On a more personal level, it is also extraordinary how his descriptions of his visit to Africa, Nairobi, remind me of Russia. From government officials taking bribe as if it was the most natural thing in the world, to people not paying taxes and not trusting their government. With some natural beauty at the core and a wealth of history, both are flawed at every level. The lack of functional structure, and human rights institutions. And the worst of it - the extremely low value of human life. I guess it should not have been such a surprise, but it still was.

RUSSIA.RU

Russia.ru is one of the major propaganda sites in Russia. Putin speeches, interviews with pro-Kremlin stars and films like War 08.08.08. They interviewed me too, strangely enough after what i said at the press conference after the War 08.08.08 film, but later cut all the important bits out (of course) The beauty of editing!

Crisis hitting Russia

These are some of my personal observations of the economic crisis hitting Russia. Prices are going up. As you shop for groceries you can see staff replacing price tags. Salaries are being cut. Even among my friends, some were laid off and others had their salaries go down by 50 %. There are a lot of beggars around and people selling various things on the streets, from dry mushrooms to fluffy sleepers, in freezing cold temperatures.

ANNA POLITKOVSKAYA's gravesite

I wish there was a way to spread the heavy load of tough questions to the government about events of N.O and others from 1,2,3 people, who are dealing with it right now, to millions of citizens, all potentially affected by this issue. The level of danger for the lives of those people will go from very high for those 3, to zero for the millions.

AFTER SERVICE

My friend's room at a Moscow hotel ($120/night) after service.

MIND THE GAP AND...LIVE RIGHT. (WTF?!)

In Moscow metro as you slowly drift up or down a long escalator along with a recorded announcement that tells you to report all the drunks and beggars, you hear messages of moral contents. A deep male voice tells you to be kind and tolerant to people, respectful to elders and the environment. He even tells you that love for your country begins with love for your family.

Just as the ‘Metro God’ tells me how to live my life as not to be ashamed of myself, what is happening around is the very opposite of it, rudeness, nationalistic swearing, disregard for those around you and spit on the floor, making it all look like a joke. And perhaps in this theatre of absurd we are someone’s merry entertainment.

Take a polite little bow

Just came back from Tchaikovsky concert hall, (tickets were $100 a piece, a friend paid), where a tastefully dressed, well-spoken and well-mannered intelligentzia crowd expressed their loyalty to Gergiev, the famous conductor. I have no doubt he is a great musician, it is his political ethics that I find inappropriate. 'Crowd of intelligenzia'-how bad is that? I am not suggesting he must be Rostropovich, but to be a loyalist to those in power, because...well, just because, I can't respect that. He and his audience had much mutual respect to be shared, however, and behind this politeness perhaps the passiveness of intelligent elite will not be so obvious.

On the other hand, it is possible that many of those in the theatre are genuine Gergiev fans. But there was also a lot of yawning.

It's frustrating that it takes so long for the documentary about Nashi youth movement to get out on air, as the time is now. I will have more tome now to work on my book. I am very behind on it. Research, more a lot more research; it's nonfiction so accuracy is all.

Those who are...

...free in spirit with values and who truly care, are usually the best people. Not understood by most. They fight and they fall. They are the reason humanity has a chance and the right to exist.

The screening of a new documentary film about Alexander Litvinenko at the Moscow's Sakharov center which I went to was attended by no more than 25 people, and offered no new information about him or his murder. The only fact that was confirmed (and I personally was very interested in) was that on his deathbed Litvinenko did convert to Islam. No doubt Ahmed Zakaeyv was the man who convinced him to do it, assuring him that this way he will become a 'shahid', Muslim warrior who dies on the path of Allah, and will go to paradise. I rest my case on this one.

Ill-fated production translates into something for the actors

Got the news today that Dagestan's president Mr Aliev in order to prevent the director of our production from resurrecting the play, has given an order to build an apartment block to house all the actors that have no proper accommodation. He has also given the theatre a financial grant. Our ill-fated production proved beneficial in a practical way and i am happy that the actors, who are not at all well off, will gain something as significant as a home from this.

Мы боролись за людей, а им это оказалось не надо. Им надо, чтобы их иногда кормили, и все.

Мы боролись за людей а это оказалось им не надо Им надо чтобы их иногда кормили и говорили что-нибудь хорошее, об их величии например.

...

He tells us that there is no glass in a small window of the cell and the temperatures are getting lower. ‘Limitations’ on food, water, bathing and visits. This is how those who refuse to admit to crimes they haven’t committed are treated. The least agreeable are treated the worst. Nothing new or shocking in it I suppose, when you think about how things are done in Russia, but this doesn’t make it any easier. Not for me anyway, when I see someone I care about in such a state.

I awkwardly reach for his hand; he takes it. Against my warm skin his hand is freezing cold. I can’t find the right thing to say or do.
‘It’ll be….’, damn that’s even worse than ‘how are you’.

Attorney gets up.
‘I’ll be back in a few’. Kind man. A. moves closer to me.
‘How is your project going?’
I ignore this question and look right into his eyes. They are still soft and gentle.
Every word gets stuck in my throat. I just keep stroking his hand with my thumb. I know I will have to go soon and I still haven’t said something really important, except I don’t know what it is. And crying is definitely not an option. I also don’t know when I might see him again. My mind tries to race but falls on its numb legs. So, there is silence and it feels natural and more organic then talk.

We hug briefly before I go. As much as we both try to make it warm embrace, it ends up being hurried and clumsy, as we both try to overcome the pain and the fear of the unknown.

....PART 2

I can’t sit so I pace the room, throwing glances at the door. He comes in, in a shirt with New York on it that was in my package to him today.

He briefly touches my cheek with his lips.
‘As soon as I saw this shirt I knew you were here’, he says. I can’t tell if he is excited, or embarrassed or both.
We sit down on a bench while Ivanovich sits at the table. I put my hand on his back. I know I can’t hold him, even though I really want to, since the guard is right behind the door with that deceitful window.

‘Sorry I won’t be able to leave you here alone guys’, says Ivanovich. We nod.

‘How are you’, as I say it I know how stupid the question sounds.
‘Well, I am ok. Well…’
I know it’s not true just looking at him. He lost weight and there are sores on his greyish face. For the first time he tells me what the conditions for them are really like.

NOVEMBER 5TH 2008. STARLITE DINER, MOSCOW

Moscow, November 5th. At 7 am my phone rang and Mom screamed excitedly ‘we won’! Ten minutes later I was braving November morning cold and what seemed like the early stages of pneumonia to get to the Starlite Diner, the place where American Democrats in Russia were meeting for breakfast.

Running into the restaurant I saw everyone’s eyes glued to the screen. I caught the second half of new president’s historic speech. Next few hours were filled with tears, champagne, Wolf Blitzer, scrambled eggs and happiness. On my way home on a Moscow metro I felt like I was in the same carriage as the people around me but we were in completely different worlds. My facial expression, light and cheerful, clashed with the grim faces with eyes in which someone switched off all the light. Asia, Africa, Europe, even China embraced this new world that came to be that morning, but not Russia. Never mind guys. Maybe later. In recognising this you’ll be late (and stiff) like you are in everything else.

When Morgan Freeman played American president in Deep Impact in mid 90s it seemed equally cool and as it did unlikely. I was too young to understand why it felt like that intellectually and it was rather on a sense level, like measuring room temperature. We have now overcome that ‘unlikely’ feeling and the temperature that measures our kindness, intelligence, tolerance, openness has changed. As it turns out we didn’t give ourselves enough credit. It is true that Barack ran for president as an American and not as a black man and won the election because he truly is an outstanding man and not on the grounds of his skin color. However, the fact remains - he is the first African American to be elected to highest office in the country and, still, in all likelihood, in the world. It is the fact we should all be proud of.

NASHI GLAMYRIKI

The most gorgeous and glamorous young people of Moscow. Super trendy, groomed and chick. Super wealthy and super cool. Women in high boots and with long silky hair, men with traces of ‘metro-sexuality’ and aura of immense self-importance. Many local celebs are here too. Recent collagen jobs are evident here and there. I would say they were clones of the Beverly Hills crowd except there is something a little different here. Perhaps it is that they are not exactly clones but replicas. A replica of something that is already fake - is there a word for that?

The Russian fashion week is happening at Gostiny Dvor, minutes away from the Red Square and Kremlin. Designer Antonina Shapovalova, who is a member of Nashi youth movement, has her own slot. Her young, good-looking, trendy comrades are on hand for support. Their very obvious prosperity leads one to believe that there is no way these people might have a care in the world for anything or anyone. Especially not for the future of Russia and its jobless, smelly, teeth-missing poor. It is impossible to see how they might find enough time and desire to actually carry out their own analasys of what’s going on in the country or come to their own independent conclusions. They are patriots while everything they wear, eat, drink and drive is foreign. They don’t drive Ladas or wear Krasnyay Zarya perfume or go on a break to a hut village in Tambov province. And they will never produce a thing for this country, that’s for sure.
The young elite needed a group to belong to and now they do. Of course it had to be a group that would speak the language of the powerful, thus, as it works in Russia, the wealthy. And the language they think the ‘common person’ can understand and trust. The wealth of their families is a result of loyalty or even direct connection to Kremlin, so this is like coming home. And for Kremlin the idea of a unified youth supporting government’s position is always handy. It sure was in the Nazi Germany and the USSR. So I call them, lovingly, ‘Nashisti’. In Russian it sounds very much like ‘Facsisti’, Fascists. Sorry if it’s a bit harsh guys. The mirror is over there.

A humble man yet a leader, a man of principal, honor and dignity. A great Man.

WE WON!

Today the world has changed. It has become a better place. Long time coming we have now been given a pass into a new future. We will be ok, ladies and gentlemen, I now believe we will make it.

After days of my personal hell with Nashi, I hope for a wonderful day and Barack's victory today!

TAMBOV, 08. PART 1

The 7-hour car trip is tough. I try to sleep in the car but wit little luck.
Tambov is a very rural and in many ways still very Soviet. Radio is playing early 90s tunes like Modern Talking, Alisa etc. The architecture is made up of wooden huts and Stalin era buildings. Grim.
We drive to the court, a formal looking building over a green alley. We drop off Ivanovich, the attorney and go to the jail. As we’re driving I tell Tolya all the details about me and A. and he now doesn’t outrule the set up of the situation. We sit in front of the jail store. On its window it says ‘vodka beer’ on, but neither is on sale.
‘Shall we try to get me in to see him?’ I ask.
‘We’ll see” says Tolya.
About 25 men and women in uniform march into the prison block. There will be searches.
A call from attorney, the case will go back to court, as we wanted.
We pick him up and drive back to prison. He suggests we try to get me in as his assistant. Tolya goes to pass my parcel, sausages, cheese, sweets, while Ivanovich and I decide to embark on our little show, hoping to pull it off. I am tired yet alert.

Judging by the colour of their faces most people who work here seem to be on a drinking binge. Every room and passage is dark and smoky. Everyone is puffing on their terrible quality Marlboros or Parliament (I know, I’ve tried them). The ongoing sound of heavy metal doors angrily being shut and large dogs barking. I later see it is, as I expected, German Shepherd. It is all pretty much like in the movies.
With each step the feeling is heavier.

We go to 3 more dusty, smelly offices, where I endure many more eyes staring back at me with suspicion as attorney and I are playing out our ‘I will fire you if you will forget your pass again’ scene, before my ten times stamped slip becomes my pass inside.

After our bags are take from us and another set of metal doors are slammed shut behind us and we climb a set of stairs.

‘Turn left here’, says Ivanovich. We come to a row of numbered doors.

‘ You can go to number 3’ the guard said.
We enter. The room is empty except for a wooden bench table and chair and a peanut can used as an ashtray. I pretend to be ok. It’s a kind of pretending I am used to.

WAR 08.08.08 The movie

Yesterday i was invited to a screening of a documentary film that was to reveal 'the truth of Georgia's attack on South Osetia'. It had almost a Hollywood name. 'War 08.08.08. The betrayal.'

Here is a link.

http://www.russia.ru

It was implied, of course, that it was Georgia's 'Big Brother' the US that was fully behind it. A cute joke was told about how America confused it's own state of Georgia with Georgia the country. Film was made on government cash and the presentation, judging by the pastries and fresh fruit before the screening and Osetian dishes we were invited to taste after the film, was also financed well.
The phrases in the film such as 'brutal killing of civilians' and 'genocide' made me cringe. After the screening the makers politely asked if there were any questions, expecting none. I raised my hand. 'Do you not think this film has striking similarities with films, alas not widely available, about the Chechen war?' I asked. The makers went pale. after a pause in response there was some mumbling by one of them and we were asked to proceed to the cafeteria. I chose not to push it. The glances i got told me i was now an enemy. Enemy or not I still had some food before I left )

ZERO...

Today I have finally realised the full impact of the current economic. It is not uncommon that those realisations on an emotional level, as oppose to intellectual, happen when you or someone close to you takes a hit. I got a call from a close friend and loyal supporter of my work from Europe who told me he has gone bankrupt. From $40 million net in his own money and a well-to-do company to pretty much ZERO. He was sitting in a bar, drinking. He is also divorcing his wife so will be spending a night ina hotel. When i said i will call him tomorrow he said he is not sure if there will be a tomorrow for him. And I don't think he was exaggerating all that much and that scared me.
He is an extremely intelligent man who knows more about classical music and especially violinists, it's his thing, than anyone I know. But he doesn't love his wife and never had any goal, let alone a cause, other than making money. Not in order to buy expensive watches, he is not into it, but market has become his life. And you can't, you just can't give your life to that.

Victor Erofeeev

Victor Erofeev, one of the most famous living Russian writers, is under a full blown attack by the main government controlled channel for his criticism of the channel's policies. On a presumably intellectual program 'Gordon Kihot' (ref. to Don Kihot by Miguel de Cervantes) an open attempt to destroy personality of Victor Erofeev was made last night. Whatever one might think of his writing i have great respect for this man. There is also a personal reason for it, i admit. He was one of very few well-known creative people who came to my defence when my play was banned in Russia. In my turn, I will now, of course, voice my outrage over this.

ANNA

Two years since Anna Politkovskaya was murdered. The case has now gone to court. The process is likely to be closed to the press. The killer has not been found so the trial will be over a few middle men who, by definition, cannot know very much. And we will not publicly hear the name of the actual person behind this assassination for years to come.

Rest in peace, amazing, talented, loving, giving man, Paul Newman. I cried yesterday for the first time in a while.

Assassinations continue...

Ruslan Yamadaev who fought alongside the Chechen rebels before switching sides and fighting on the Russian side, was awarded hero of Russia medal ( same as Medal of honor) and is a former Parliament member, was killed in Moscow, in broad daylight and almost right outside Putin's new residence as prime minister-the 'white house'.
He received 10 bullets and died on the spot. The killer, allegedly with his face covered, miraculously was not captured on any of the CCTV cameras, of which there are many in central Moscow, especially in close proximity to government buildings. In all likelihood Yamadaev was killed by Ramzan Kadyrov, President of Chechnya, but with possible involvement of the FSB and one of the Kremlin groups.

Если Народ позволяет власти относиться к себе, как к быдло, значит он, народ, быдло и есть.

Another slice of reality

This is not cold statistics. This is information I get directly from people.
In Russia factories are closing, production is down and people are losing jobs. In Mozdok the fabric factory that had 3,500 employees 5 years ago now has only 350. And they are about to fire more people. There are 48 universities and 519 higher education institutions in Russia. There is no point, however, for young people in the provinces to go for higher eduction as there in no chance for them to find employment that will fit their qualification in the regions. The only place with work places is Moscow and they are all taken. Young lawyers are painting walls. It is a dire situation the government channels never cover. They stick to empty words, and these days use more and more of the Soviet rhetoric.

The only way anything can change in Russia and the only way it will change its current self-destructive and immoral route is to find something to replace its main driving force-materialism. The genuine replacement of values, even if possible, takes generations.

Email address for Karpov family

Here is the email address to send transaction details to for those who were kind enough to express desire to help Karpov family.

nickolayk@yandex.ru

Thank you so much!

Plane Crash in Perm-a tech problem, issue of old planes still in exploitation or something else?

The plane crash in Russia's town of Perm might be an accident but a few facts seem a bit odd. According to the air traffic controller, the pilots' behavior in the last 20 minutes of the flight was erratic and illogical which might signify that there was a third party in the cockpit. The Perm residents say that some of the larger institutions in the city were alerted to a possibility of a terrorist attack a few days before this happened. If one is to believe Sulim Yamadaev, a commander of the elite pro-federal forces 'East' battalion, formed of the former Chechen militants, now at odds with some of the FSB figures, around 20 young women 'went into the mountains' which means joined forces of the North Caucasus Islamic mujahadeen. We all know that women are mainly used a suicide bombers (only in Tamil Tigers are women equal fighters with the men).

This, of course, is only a suggestion. But if people's lives mean anything to the government it should not keep in jail a man who is able to prevent the loss of innocent human lives. Just a thought.

It is very hard when a person close to you is in jail. It is a trying time. Not knowing how it will turn out is very difficult.

BESLAN

It is 4 years since Beslan. Spoke on the phone with one of the mothers. As they have done every year since the tragedy, they have spent the last 3 days in the charcoaled walls of what used to be the school gym, without food or water, as they and their children did in 2004. Back then she was there, in the school, with her two sons. One of the sons died. He was 4 years old. Her other son survived, was wounded and now needs yet another operation. His eardrums burst during the explosion and there is now a lump that needs to be removed. The authorities, who are suppose to pay for it, asked for a ridiculous amount of paperwork and now that she provided it there is no response. She told me today something we have already discussed before. She wants to leave Russia. For the sake of her boy, her only son left.

What?!

Putin accused US of being behind the attack on Ossetia as part of a plot to bring McCain and the Republicans to White House. This is merely a projection of the ‘tricks’ those in power in Russia use onto a country that is on a very different moral level. That is America.

Putin came to power on the back of apartment building bombings and a new conflict, which became a second military campaign in Chechnya. Moscow theatre siege which took 130 lives and was sanctioned by groups within the FSB in order to have carte blanch from the West as well as its own people for further violence in its breakaway regions.

This is their technique but this is not America’s technique.

Aren’t you guys giving yourselves away?

The proof for this statement was an american passport found in Ossetia in the area where Georgia special forces were located. Because that's what you do when you're on a secret mission of one level or another, take all your IDs with you.

During a long interview with CNN's Mathew Chance Putin looked small and insecure. The opposite of his usual arrogant self. Is this the card they feel they now have to play, when even China has condemned their actions not to mention the overall isolation. Scared now are we?

Russia United. Not in a good way.

To call the new wave of the anti-American hysteria in Russia, that I am encountering first hand on a daily basis, overwhelming is an understatement. It is a wide spread belief that what happened in South Osetia is America getting to Russia using ‘Georgian hands’. There is a tremendous hate for Georgians, who for so many years were like brothers to Russians, but it is separate from the bigger topic-America, the enemy. Many speak with enthusiasm (!) about the possibility of the new cold war and even, get this, a third world war. They also seem content with an idea of being in isolation from the rest of the world, with only few ‘friends’ left-Iran, Pakistan and, possibly, China. The government controlled channels are, naturally, propaganda tools, used to the full at the moment. The results are astonishing. We are told that ‘the country is now united’. Ironically ‘United Russia’ is the dominant Putin controlled party in the Parliament.

What I believed happened is Russian provoked Georgians, and this was in the making for a while. Georgians reacted very angrily and brutally, which, of course, was a mistake. And America went ‘shit, we really don’t have the money or any desire to get involved in this mess right now’.

Russians, however, will use this well. Some of it practical. Wars are very profitable in Russia for the selected few. And some if it is a massive ego boost, and ‘re-establishing its place’ in the region and the world.

Please Help a great family in trouble

This is for the Russians. Your help is badly needed for a family who lost their son in Moscow theatre siege. Their other son, Ivan, needs an eye operation and we're collecting funds. Great people in an awful situation, again. Please help.
Это рублевые счета:
Карпова Татьяна Ивановна
СБЕРБАНК РОССИИ
Внутреннее структурное подразделение
№ 8641/01651
Счет № 42307810438364408776

Центральное отделение № 8641 Сбербанка
России ОАО г. Москвы
счет МФР 30301810900006003836 Сбербанка России
ОАО г. Москва
БИК 044525225
ИНН 7707083893
КПП 775003035
ОКАТО 45286580000
Кор. Счет Сбербанка России ОАО:
30101810400000000225 в ОПЕРУ Московского ГТУ Банка
России
Номер филиала 8641/01651

Яндекс деньги: 41001102754237

Khodorkovsky's appeal for early release was denied today. This will take toll on his father, who a couple of days ago told Tatyana Karpova (Nord Ost organisation) that he feels very weak.
On a jolly note, square (!) watermelons from China, at a modest price of 32,000 roubles ($1,250) a kilo, were sold out within hours.
I wish I was kidding.

Grim, very grim

We are on a brink of a catastrophe and the most shocking thing to me is that even the Russian opposition and few of my friends, brutally destroyed by the regime, blame Georgia and, most importantly, America. One is in exile in London on Ukos related charges and another one is in jail! in Russia on a fabricated case. It is hearing from them 'Americans, those bastards...' that made me feel very pessimistic. Right now I am watching Russian tanks crawling on the Georgian soil....

President Bush made a very severe comment about what's going on there is making me think some new form of cold war, something i said a year ago on a TV show will not happen, is not far away. Watched President Saakashvili almost hysterical on CNN and saying 'Georgia will never surrender no matter how many Georgians die'. Watched McCain (mispronounce Saakashvili's name) and Obama both say this is unacceptable. I felt a chill. Will this really spin out of control?

War in Ossetia, day 3

It is hard to know exactly who attacked first in the current South Ossetia crisis. And, really, it doesn't make that much difference. Of course at the center of all this is the clash between Russia and Georgia. Russia feeling terribly unhappy with the fact that's its neighbour and former 'Communist brother' is not looking in the direction of Western style democracies but is allowing US to build millitary bases on its territory. As a result of substantial financial aid from America Georgia has been booming economically. More schools and hospitals were built in the last 2 years than in the previous 20. The opposition is free to have its marches AND have media coverage. They still have a long way to go, of course, and President Saakashvili is no saint. But this is not the point. The point is that in an ideal world they would be left alone and would be free to choose their political path and their friends. Sadly, Russia does not want to allow for that happen. For Russian people, however, the idea that Georgia, backed by America, attacked Russian peace forces in Ossetia lands on a fruitful soil. The anti - American mood has always been there and has been 'helped' recently with consistent propaganda.

Even without further escalation of this situation the relationship between America and Russia will deteriorate further. And in the worst case scenario...well...

Next few days are vital.

WAR

Here we go...South Ossetia...

This is the hotel where I was whisked away from 'for my safety'.

Makhachkala is potentially a very beautiful city. A great resort.

This is a statue dedicated to a Russian teacher. A real teacher as oppose to 'Russia, the big brother' type of teacher. I was assured the sentiment was genuine at the time when it was erected.

Some pics

These were taken right before I, Наталья Пелевайн, was pronounced a slightly unlikely but nevertheless enemy of the state.

This one says Welcome to Dagestan. As i took the picture a militia man with the AK approached me and asked me to put the camera away.

The new idea currently promoted heavily by the Russian government and the pro-government press is the imminent collapse of the 'American empire'. President Medvedev mentioned that 'America is in no position to tell us how to live' and the press like hyenas that they can be, started spitting out article after article about the American system being in the verge of a total breakdown. This is all too pleasing to the Russian ear. Russian people would much rather see someone powerful rot than pick themselves off the ground. And i don't mean by scoring a few goals in a Euro cup.

Found this photo of Anna

She was there probably 2 years before me and not long before her murder.

Book

I have been asked to write one chapter for a book which these company might option, about Nord Ost, which i've been putting off for a while. Largely because i have too many other projects right now. Another reason is that this will mean going over all my materials on the subject, and i have probably the largest amount of it out of anyone, and this might be a little tough. Draining. I must get to it though. How does one rate their ongoing battles? Which ones are more important than others.

KARPOVS

A completely desperate situation in the family of Karpovs. They lost their son in the Moscow theatre siege and Tatyana, the mother, is the official head of NGO Nord Ost. Their younger son is going blind after some kind of infection and no one can give the precise diagnosis. On top of that everywhere they go they are asked for money. Large sums, which they don't have. As a result of a bunch of pills he was given, last night he became delusional. They took him to the hospital this morning, he is still there. Tatyana, a women of incomparable strength, is sobbing. I am in the phone with them all the time...feeling helpless.

Little fact

At the risk of giving myself too much importance, out of the four of us stuck in the elevator three and a half years ago: Anna Politkovskaya, Ahmed Zakaev, Alexander Litvinenko and me, only two are still alive. Myself and Ahmed.

"NASHI"

Spoke with the PR girl for government formed and financed NASHI Youth Organization today on behalf of a UK production company that's doing a documentary film on them, to organize filming. They are at their summer camp, doing 10 mile hikes and various patriotic activities. Anya sounded cheery and happy, Go Russia! type of thing. Tomorrow Zhirinovsky, Russia's Mussolini, will visit them and 1st vice president will go there the day after. Their agenda, which is often of the nationalistic nature, is dangerous and so is the fact of the existence of a government endoursed youth group like this, taking into consideration the history of Russia.

On another negative note, my friend is still in jail on a fabricated case.

Skanderbek no longer wants to live in Dagestan. Or possibly Russia in general. He told me he has no illusions left. Also apparently at every mentioning of the Russian theatre (in Makhachkala) Aliev's face changes. I am glad the impact was this deep.

Bit of news

Spoke with Skanderbek, the director of the Russian theatre in Dagestan, who told me that the officials have told him he will not be allowed to take our Nord Ost play to Ossetia on tour even though they are taking a number of other productions there. by doing this they fully disregard the appeal made by the mothers of Beslan who asked (and collected over 100 signatures) for this production to be shown in Ossetia. He was also told to forget about ever doing this production, period. There were also further publications suggesting that i recruited him on behalf British secret services and the play was the beginning of a 'master plan'. we were to start the destabilization of Russia in Dagestan and then take it step by step. Where to? I have no clue.

Strasbourg

A rather shocking news-Strasbourg has fulfilled the demand of the Russian Federation to give the Nord Ost case the classified status. This means all the information provided by the victim's families has been sealed off and is inaccessiable.

Another slice of Russian reality

A very close person to me is in jail in Russia. The case is fabricated and will soon go to court. He is an amazing man and shouldn't be in there. He was telling me of the awful conditions people are in. Many have no mattresses on their beds. They are not taken outside at all, many rooms don't have even tiniest windows. And people who work there are like angry dogs. The whole thing borders on torture. He asked me if anything can be done. He was not asking for himself. I will do all i can. I hate Russian reality of complete lawlessness.